Ehhh - January 24th, 2011

 I smile,
because it hurts to frown.
 I laugh,
because crying makes me ugly.
 I lie,
because the truth is too much.
 I pretend,
because acting is easier.
 I try,
because it's all I have left.
 I forget,
because remembering makes me weak.
 I leave,
because staying will only cause more pain.
 I wait,
because moving on is too hard.
 I'm weak,
because strength escapes me.
 I'm happy,
because I'd rather cover the pain than hurt myself.
 I'm me,
because I know my weaknesses and accept them.

 Sincerely,

 Golden Poppy

Well, - January 21st, 2011

      Dear Readers,

 Today is..... How do I explain this? I was content. I hate being content. Nothing happens when you are content. Nothing exciting, anyways. And most people try for content, trying their best to be happy with something. To have a routine. But not me, no. I like excitement. I like passion and rage and emotion. I like adventure, something that gets my blood pumping. And i don't get that with being content. But I am, against my will, and I don't know how to change that. Any suggestions? Course you don't, cause nobody reads this. Ah, oh well. I write in here to rant anyways. I told Zoe about this, and she laughed at her name. We both read (well I used to read) this series called House Of Night. If you've read it, you'd already know that Zoe is the main character. If you haven't read it, go read it. Now.
 Life has been..... I don't know. It's just, well, nothing upsets me anymore. I got in trouble with my parents and didn't care. Nothings really bothered me lately, like I've been in some type of daze. I probably am. Oh, Karen was right about the texting stuff. Remember yesterday, when I told you about her taking my phone? Well, she was right. It helped. I just hate admitting I'm wrong, but I did anyways. I was just afraid he wouldn't talk to me anymore, like so many guys before him. And since I like him as both a male and a friend, I didn't really want to lose him, ya know? Anyways, what's up with you guys? Do you just not comment, or am I wasting my time writing this because nobody actually reads this? It doesn't really matter, really. I'd still write in here, to let my feelings out. Even if this was the utmost failure blog ever, I'd still keep writing it. It's kind of letting people know my story, without them actually really knowing anything about me. So you guys can judge me all you want, but it won't really help you. All you'll do is be annoyed when I insult you back. But ey, that's what life's about, right? Living, loving, rage and passion?
 So, I'll write more tomorrow, readers. Thanks for reading,  if you did. Live life your own way and don't let people change you to fit their image. Be you and make the most out of yourself and the things around you. Love God with all your heart and live for tomorrow.
 Sincerely,

Golden Poppy

Oh no. - January 20th, 2011

Dear Readers,

Oh no. This is not good. If some is actually reading this, thanks, but that is not enough to brighten my day. So lets relay over what happened.
  It started out with bad weather. Okay, I hate cold weather. I'm more of a warmer climate person and today started out cold. They said it was supposed to feel like friggin' five degrees. Really? That's friggin' freezing! So anyways, I woke up freezing at five in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. And unlike most people, who if they are tired and it's cold out side would wear "cozy" clothes, I decided to dress up. I curled my hair, put makeup on, and wore some okay clothes. I went to school, and forgot my friends clarinet. So I was pissed about that. So I started out bad, right?
 What's even worse about the morning, was that I had to put my backpack in my locker, so I was extra late to my first hour. To top it all off, I drop my eReader, my favorite electronic, on the concrete. I was pissed. But then I went to second hour and had a great time with Arthur. He made my day. Then I went through out the rest of the day, still a little down. I had to stay 7th hour, so I did. I also had to change my normal English class to Pre AP English. So that took a little longer than normal 7th hour. I then, finally if I might add, checked my phone. Arthur had texted me. Just by noticing that he even just texted me was enough to make me blush and smile. I looked at what it said. He thought I looked pretty today. That made me blush even more. So you get the grove of it, right?
 Anyways, what turned it worse was Karen's over protectiveness over me. She tends to think I can't defend myself, or that I'm oblivious to somethings. Like she believes I'm oblivious to Arthur's whole mess. Like, I like him, obliviously, and he kind of likes me. Okay? But I know he has a girlfriend, and like her more. So I just don't really do anything about it. I don't try to care to much, in fear of actually getting hurt. But here comes Karen, who takes my phone and starts texting him. On my phone, pretending to be me. And they have this huge conversation about the matter. He didn't even know I liked him! And he found, because of this. And that ruined my day. I was going good and then I crashed.
 So that's my horrible day. Boring, huh? Anyways, to the people who actually got this far into this and want to read more, how are you? Doing good, bad? Worse than me? Wanna talk or anything? I hope you liked this. Thanks for reading.
 Have an amazing rest of your day, live life like there is tomorrow, and never, NEVER, forget the little things. Sincerely,

   Golden Poppies

My First Blog - January 19th, 2011

                                                         Dear Readers,

Well, this is my first blog (as shown in the title). I've never been really good at these things, or really anything, for that matter. Usually I manage to jack up anything and everything I might be asked to do. Even if you think it's impossible to jack it up. And as the saying goes "Nothing is impossible." Unless it's growing a banana out your ear that when you peel it back unicorns gallop out into your hand (miniature ones of course) and lick your pinkies.
 So, I'll tell you about me. I am a natural blonde, but I tend to die my hair a lot, so it changes. My eyes are hazel, but change colors constantly. Mostly they are green or blue-gray. I consider myself tall for my age, since I am like 5'9 in my freshman year. I'm a girl, hopefully you already noticed that. My favorite color is yellow, I have this major crush on these twin brothers, lets call them Arthur and Jerald. I tend to be secretive, unless it's something that troubles me. I like to make up things, though they usually are just my random fantasies with different names. I love to draw, just a small habit that I picked up as a kid. Reading is my passion. I like to indulge myself into another world, where everything always come to an end and nobody can look at me and ask any unnecessary questions. Because no one can see or hear me, I'm just an observer. In reality, I'm not all too popular. I'm kind of a loser, actually. Though I try to ignore peoples' rude comments, I can't block them all out. When there is something I don't like, I will force myself to forget it, but most of the times I just can't remember things. I can't memorize anything important, at all. I suck at tests, my mind just goes totally blank.
 Uh, is that enough about me? Ah, wait, I forgot someone. Or some people. My two best friends in the whole entire world are.... well, since I made up names for Arthur and Jerald, why not for them too? Lets say... Karen and Zoe. Karen is the most outgoing girl I know. Always bright, really smart. Zoe is a little different. Just like Karen, she's really smart. She  loves books, just like I do, but she's like that one quiet kid in every class, that nobody ever notices. But I like noticing those people. They usually have the coolest personalities hiding under that sheet of armor they throw around themselves.
 Okay, now that is enough. Now for how my day has been. I went to bed last night sooooo confused. I've spent my whole freshman year so far, crushing on Arthur. And since Jerald has been ignoring me and all, it's been drawing me even more towards Arthur. I didn't think he liked, or ever could like me since, ya know, I'm me. But so you get the idea, right? Well, one of my Facebook *groan* statuses was that stupid thing like "If you think I'm cute, like this. If you want a relationship, message me. If blah blah blah blah." You know the deal. But the only one you really need to know is that it said "If you have or have ever had a crush on me, poke me." And this was like weeks ago, so by the time he poked me, I didn't think anything of it. You know, a random poke from a friend? It doesn't really bring any warning bells. But then last night, I got a text from him saying something to the lines of " I poked you because it said to poke you if I had a crush on you." So I started freaking. I mean, I'm a teenage girl, who was just told by her crush that he liked her. But then reality rushed over me and I realized two things. One, he still has a girlfriend, and two, I still liked his twin brother. So now I'm confused on the matter. What should I do?
 Today's events weren't really bad. I couldn't help but stare at Arthur and his girlfriend, lets call her, hmmm, Guinevere. I pretended not to when he looked my way, but right when he turned around, I was watching. I couldn't help myself. It was hard to take my eyes away. And after school, he brought his girlfriend over to talk to me, as if he was trying to rub her presence in my face. But then he went, after I was done talking, and stared at my chest. In plain sight. I mean, who does that? Anyways, so I went home and tried texting him, not like right away, or at dinner time or anything, just a normal time. And he didn't reply. So I went out to eat with Karen and her family, her brothers birthday was today, and spent the whole night with her.
 The night ended, before I made this, with me attempting to curl my darn straight hair and managed to burn myself, once again. And then I ended up on here. Great story, huh?
 So if anybody actually read all of this, my boring life, thanks. I appreciate it. If you want, leave a comment. I'd love to hear what you think of my situation. I'll update soon, hopefully.
 Well, goodnight, sleep well, have a happy life, and live for those rare moments of complete bliss.

                 Sincerely,

                                  A Golden Poppy